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Leader of the South London Tangerine Charlton Division Steve Brown has
finally spoken out about Sunday's events with a sensational top 5 and his
ratings of the SLTs. Read on......

After much consideration my top five would be:

1) Ditching the Pikey off the train - illegal but good.

2) Some real top class karaoke - evoking memories of Chas & Dave at
Lewisham Town Hall in 1999

3) Joslyn washing his arse in the sink

4) Finding that my goalies jersey was to be a tatty, zipless

5) Being introduced to Wendy as 'Big Steve'


Well, what a day out that was. A vintage SLT display on Ashton Gate, Ralph`s 40th, a karaoke and (by all accounts) an entertaining journey home. Just a few tops from the lads, several are probably still in denial, if not prison.

Malky Freeman, who was a giant at right back, says,

1. Crusty getting thrown off the train - absolutely priceless seeing him shaking his fist as the train moved off

2. Wendy and Ralph looking so happy together (and meeting her parents)

3. Karaoke moments - Neil. A crazy boy, a crazy boy & the Chaz and Dave effort from South London

4. Eyeing up the bottle of bubbly lovingingly as he stood at the bar before pronouncing to the bar manager - "here, put that on ice", with a glint in his eye.

5. The McGrath and Whiteside story - I did not hear it but it sounded good.

Lou-Lou, who was competent at left back, came up with,

1. Final Tribute to Ralph

2. Gourlay waving a fiver in the face of a pikie.

3. Brownie braining himself on the Dugout

4. Suspicious minds

5. Ralph's mad Bristol boy being disrespectful to a tray full of Ralph's.

Fraser Gourlay says,

1) the crusty had to go, top moment

2 ) my turn and 30yard wonderstrike that hit the bar

3) Neil bouncing on the Karoke- cant remember the song ( your 2nd attempt)

4) showing Ralph my shot on the video

5) meeting Wendy's parents - truly very nice people.

Well done you three, very alert minds so close to the event, I`m sure there is much more to come.


A bursting postbag after Sunday`s thumping, let`s start off with a couple of opponents views. Firstly, Andy McIntosh pops up with,

"Hi Lads, Just thought I'd be first to say thanks for a great day out on Sunday! Enjoyed meeting the SWLT and hope that we get a chance to revenge the Boat Race defeat in the near future (Speccy indeed fucked it! - As a result he has been put on the transfer list!).
Give us a shout if you want to arrange a re-match! Good luck next season (and if you meet Aberdeen make sure you hammer them!).
"Malky's got a girlfriend,
Malky's got a girlfriend,
Nah, nah, nah, nah!"

All the Best, Andy Mc"

Next up is Darren Strachan, also a member of the KPMG wonderboys who says,

"You were well in the game until the last half hour and if you'd scored at the start of the second half it would have been a tight game. See if you can get the big lad at the back to jump high enough to slip a Tele under his feet and you might start winning some headers...

Your big laddie up front showed genuine pace - our gingo centre half thought that he was going to be faster than an opposition centre forward for the first time this season but it was not to be.

Freeman must be given a chance to rebuild and should not be judged on this performance alone".

Well, the first example of finger-pointing there from Mr Strachan, so lets move on to Mr Dobbie himself,

"I'm just very disappointed. Don't feel my own performance was too bad although we clearly got a lesson in corners. Also really fed running up to the other end for corners when not ONE cross was delivered into the box. Out sang and out drank them at night though which was of some consolation and specky did flog the boat race.

By the way The Director of Football is so distraught that he has taken the day off work and been sick all night!

Change the tactics but don't panic and I am behind the Director of Football despite his failure to make any sort of attempt to head away the first goal".

Fair enough Gregor, and that is bad news about the DOF, lets hope he doesn`t do anything silly, after all it`s only a game.

Next up and still on the tactical front is Glen Tonkin, one of the few players to get pass marks on Sunday,

"I thought we actually played some good football. When everyone stayed in their positions and we concentrated on playing the ball on the ground we actually looked like a good outfit. Need one or two players to strengthen the squad, but apart from that the score line did flatter them a little. After three the heads went down and no one looked interested in battling on which was disappointing. I think with the squad of players we currently have
a 4-4-2 would be better to strengthen up the defence and midfield. In all fairness, we should have been over running them with the extra man in the middle, but we still gave them space to pass it around and at times looked like we didn't know who we should have been marking.

However, it takes time to build an understanding and I am pretty confident that we will have a good team for the start of next season with a few more matches under our belts. If you lads that run the team keep putting in all
the hard work, its only fair the players that pull on the jersey's show the same commitment on the pitch.

Keep up the good work, and the management gets my vote of confidence, Looking forward to the next game."

Thanks Glen, frank and honest talk from The Highlander there. Matt the Geordie, a close friend of Ralph Milne, had this to say,

"As one of the few "foreign imports" to the club I feel I`d like to have my bit voiced to the masses. The build up to the big game started brightly on Sunday morning, with everyone arriving in high-spirits looking forward to donning the new SLT strips. Unfortunately that was to be the only highlight of the day. The game I felt started positively with Forsyth, Tonkin and Crawford trying to battle for midfield supremacy, against the big guns. Our rock-like defence started where they`d left off against Bristol veterans with Gregor "the Gymanst" Dobbie and Malky "freebar" Freeman abley supporting our ever dependable captain Neil "Figo" Campbell. The team I felt battled hard with Rod Burns pulling off a couple of important saves to keep the score to 1-0 to the visitors at half time. Second half was a shambles though. With an arial presence on corners the opposition started to make their weight tell. Poor Rods goal was showered with attempts as our midfield and defence struggled to contain the opposition mid-way through the second half. There was respite though for the home team with Crawford hit a dipping/looping curler from 22 yards that was tipped over the bar last minute. Messrs G and Ali Merry dug in and gave the visitors some scares with their lightening pace and clever diagonal runs..............unfortunately with little end result. The visitors continual pounding of our goal finally led to the collapse and goals rained upon us. Forsyth managed a consolation goal, scant reward for his passion for the team. All in all a poor performance I feel and team tactics and postions must surely be under scrutiny. NO_ONE is safe from the dreaded fear of being dropped from the squad after Sundays performance. Going forward, I feel we must learn from this. I feel the board, coach and and skipper must get together to address how we can pull ourselves out of this feeling of disappointment. We must build for the future, strengthen the squad if we are to have any hope of winning promotion (let alone entry) into one of the leagues next year. I for one am waiting with baited breath......................."

Thanks Matt, busy morning? Our man in Dundee, Hamish Burns is next.

"The humiliation of being beaten by KPMG was so
bad that I had to drown my sorrows with a few drinks in the Cooler. The United team must have heard about the result, because they were also there drowning their sorrows. Charlie Miller was so upset that he fell on top of me, and another player, who was wearing leather trousers, was reduced to lunging at random women."

Thanks Hamish, and thanks to Chalie and Hannah-Five-O. Left "wing-back" Dave Coleiro is next,

"There was a general bad attitude shown by a squad guilty of all kinds or misdemeanors - including over-hyping the game, underestimating the opposition, poor preparation, tactical naivity and coasting in training. I'm aware that I was not alone in performing badly, but personally, suffice to say that I am disgusted at my own performance. Not touch, no confidence, no fitness and cetainly no evidence of any skill whatsoever.

Cheers Dave, get your chin up. Fraser Gourlay says simply,

"Specky f*cked the boat race."

Yes Fraser, yes he did. Rod Burns has something to get off his chest,

"The rumours about replacing me are rubbish, everyone knows I am the second best keeper in Britain. After Andy Gorams brother."

Fighting talk indeed from Rod. So, a disaster all round then. Thanks to all respondents, especially the KPMG lads and we`ll let Andrew McIntosh have the final word,

"Just checked out your web-site and the score seems to have been entered incorrectly...
Could it be that:
1) It was written by a fan who left early and missed the last two goals.
2) The editor went to school in Dundee and was off ill or truanting when the algebra and maths classes took place.
3) The Boat Race victory for United meant that two goals were knocked off the final score-line.
4) You wanted to see if we would notice....???? "

All four are correct Andrew, now get back to your sums.

Your Say Can We Account For the Accountants Special!

Well, Sunday really is going to be a corker of a game. The SLTs are
absolutely delighted about this fixture after a prolonged mid-season break
and confidence seems to be at an all-time high. First up on this inaugural
Your Say is Director of Football Malcolm Freeman who is clearly up for the

"I just cannot wait, just cannot wait for the game...We have put a team out
there to win the game and I am sure we will not disappoint the bevvy of
beauties on the touchline - training could not have gone any better last
night on the very same pitch that we play on Sunday. I have never seen G so
fired up in training and if the goalie with a bird on each arm can keep his
calm and not react to provecation, it will provide a fine basis for the
defence to build on. I am also looking forward to the celebratory bevvy

Freeman certainly seems to be promising a lot regarding a crowd full of
attractive females, maybe he knows something we don't. However, his
fascination with the post-match drinks demonstrates just why Captain
Campbell was so concerned about our left back's alcohol consumption.

Next up is Consultant Website Editor Hamish "Scoop" Burns who says,

"Those number crunchers are in for a good crunching. Their number's up and
I'm sure that the SWLT's calculating play and sheer dirtiness will bring an
end of year result of total liquidation for the stupid counts."

Some brilliant puns there from Scoop, showing all his journalistic
expertise in a wry attack on Sunday's opponents. There aren't many men who
know more about goings-on up Tannadice way than Scoop though who can forget
the fact that Scoop was literally left sleeping on the job after one too
many "Ralph's" when Luggy resigned from United.

Next up is Team Manager Gregor Dobbie who says simply,

"I am excited, I think we can do it"

Simple and effective.

An Aberdeen fan has muscled in to this week's Your Say,

"Good luck to the London Arabs from Division 3 Champions Aberdeen (Rob Roy
Reds). Get intae those KPMG effeminate public schoolboys and Fife minks."

Thanks Craig and well done on your league victory. As we are likely to be
playing the Dons in the not too distant future, I'll leave it at that.
Anyway, I hope you all had a good day celebrating your achievements down at

Blair Robertson send apologies,

"Sorry ah cannae make it, ah'm shoplifting in Glasgae"

No problem Blair, though we will miss our pacy Weedgie.

"I'm excited, very, very excited" says Iain Miller and no surprise there.
The big man has been electric in training and we are looking forward to
seeing him struggle into his tangerine top on Sunday.

Finally, Dave Coleiro says,

"I know the floodlights won't be on you fool"

Fair point Dave, fair point.

That's all for now, thanks to all contributors. Next week's Your Say will
be Your Say Happy Birthday Ralph Special. But until then, up the shed,
spread the word, and good luck to the SLTs on Sunday.

Every Friday we will post your thoughts about the South West London Tangerines or about Dundee United. Get them in by Thursday to: thetangerines@hotmail.com